@markydoodoo: I'm 34 years old and I still don't know what to do when the barber shows me the back of my head with that little mirror.
@markydoodoo: [spelling bee]
Teacher: your word is forwards
Me: hey wait everyone else only had to spell one
@markydoodoo: Guys if ur drinking tonight please remember this; u can always use a frozen hot dog if u run out of ice. Ok stay safe & keep it real.
@markydoodoo: At my funeral I want a dozen white doves released. Then shot down. Then buried with me. It'll be confusing af. Can't wait.
@markydoodoo: Me, knowing girls dig bad boys: sorry I didn't text u back babe I was grounded.
@markydoodoo: The deep ocean is so mysterious. Sharks and octopuses could be down there having dance battles and we'd never know. We'd never know.