@markydoodoo: [yelling to bartender in crowded nightclub] WHAT KIND OF CAPRI SUN FLAVORS DO YOU HAVE?
@markydoodoo: imagine being 93 years old and then you’re bit by a vampire and you’re stuck being a 93 year old forever
@markydoodoo: A dog walks into a bar. Then a bank. Then the dry cleaners. This is a dog world. Way to be productive, dog. Try to do the bar last next time
@markydoodoo: [Yelp review for Mario Bros Plumbing]
Ate my mushrooms, killed ALL my turtles, stole my coin collection. 1 star.
@markydoodoo: I like it when squirrels pop their dumb heads up in the middle of the street like "did I lock the tree?"