@mattZillaaaa: It’s easy to lie to people.
My phone was dead. I mailed it 2 weeks ago. Your baby is so cute.
@mattZillaaaa: I just want to be high enough on the corporate ladder so I can walk around the office and yell at ppl while I'm eating a salad
@mattZillaaaa: It's painful when you lose an ex. It's even more painful when they come back.
@mattZillaaaa: [during a plane crash]
Woman sitting next to me: OMG WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!
@mattZillaaaa: What a cute baby, what's her name?
She's gonna make a great grandmother
@mattZillaaaa: *wakes up from 2 year coma surrounded by friends & family
Where's my phone?
@mattZillaaaa: My mom asked me to text her at 5pm to remind her to get her thyroid medication so I do have plans