Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of mejustbeth's best tweets

@mejustbeth : Back to school sale prices are so cheap. I'm getting all of my Christmas shopping done. 25 cent rulers for everyone!

@mejustbeth: Someone in my neighborhood is cooking bacon and now I'm wondering if I should have been more friendly to my neighbors for the last 18 years.

@mejustbeth: Current status: I just turned on the garbage disposal so the cats wouldn't hear me getting the cheese out of the fridge.

@mejustbeth: Someone talked me into trying an egg nog flavored candy cane.

Don't let this happen to you!

@mejustbeth: Wasted my annual good hair day at work again this year.

@mejustbeth: Caution: Cutting corners may lead to extra corners.

@mejustbeth: It seems like I only lose weight when I don't buy ice cream.

Can someone else start buying my ice cream for me please?

@mejustbeth: Weather man said all you need today is sunglasses and sunscreen but I think I'll put some clothes on too.

@mejustbeth: Ever since those 2 weeks in 2008 when no one noticed I was missing, I won't go into a corn maze without a machete.

@mejustbeth: Thought I was having a good hair day. Mother Nature likes to keep my ego in check though.

She's really good at that.