Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of mejustbeth's best tweets

@mejustbeth : Current status: I just turned on the garbage disposal so the cats wouldn't hear me getting the cheese out of the fridge.

@mejustbeth: Someone talked me into trying an egg nog flavored candy cane.

Don't let this happen to you!

@mejustbeth: Wasted my annual good hair day at work again this year.

@mejustbeth: Caution: Cutting corners may lead to extra corners.

@mejustbeth: It seems like I only lose weight when I don't buy ice cream.

Can someone else start buying my ice cream for me please?

@mejustbeth: Weather man said all you need today is sunglasses and sunscreen but I think I'll put some clothes on too.

@mejustbeth: Ever since those 2 weeks in 2008 when no one noticed I was missing, I won't go into a corn maze without a machete.

@mejustbeth: Thought I was having a good hair day. Mother Nature likes to keep my ego in check though.

She's really good at that.

@mejustbeth: Wrong hole! It's too tight!

-me putting on my watch, you pervs

@mejustbeth: Tried to be sly and shove the whole cookie in my mouth without him seeing me.
Then he turned around and asked me a question.