@mexinonblonde: I aged about 2 years and counted 14,364 cat hairs on my cashiers blouse at Walmart waiting for her to ring up my groceries.
@mexinonblonde: *crawls towards him gets between his legs and asks*
What do you want?
Him-Whatever you want.
Me-*gets a bowl of ice cream and turns on tv*
@mexinonblonde: *handsome, young man walks up*
Me-Hold it Jr. Yes, I'm sexy. But young guys aren't my thing.
HYM-You've toilet paper on your heel.
You do a dazzling imitation of a blithering idiot!
You're being serious, about your love for your TC?
Oh dear, this is awkward.
@mexinonblonde: You're a big fat liar! And I don't believe anything you say!
See if I get naked for you again!!
-Me to my scale as I step off of it
@mexinonblonde: Fun Fact:
You can edit and crop a selfie so that we aren't able to see the cataclysmic disaster of dirty clothes in the background!
@mexinonblonde: *stands up and screams*
"PICTURES OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!"
*gets thrown out of Easter service during sermon of the resurrection*
@mexinonblonde: I have recently learned that it is considered poor form to sit on Santa's lap and ask to be made a widow for Christmas...
The more you know.
@mexinonblonde: Don't ever leave a bag of mini Heath bars at your desk to prove you can't be tempted....
Because Satan's game is strong