@mortimermaiden: Me: I'm gonna renovate the house once I get my promotion. After that, kids maybe?
Date: Are you still talking about The Sims?
Me: Of course.
@mortimermaiden: I'm a gentleman, so I when I see a woman about to open a door, I sprint up and tackle her back, so a man can open it for her.
@mortimermaiden: Me: *doing magic trick* Is THIS your card?
Guy: They're all my cards, give me my wallet back.
@mortimermaiden: *breaks glass*
*pulls fire alarm*
Great, now that you're all here, I want to correct this impression in the office that I'm weird.