Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of mostunladylike's best tweets

@mostunladylike : *holds pen ready* "How many zeros in one million?" "Six" "Ok, thanks" *writes milli000000n*

@mostunladylike: Yog see woman
Yog ask woman out
Yog go on date
Yog fall in love
Yog act like an idiot
Yog get dumped

@mostunladylike: [Record Shop]

Me: Hi, have you got anything by the Doors?

Shopkeeper: No, we have to keep all exits clear in case of emergencies.

@mostunladylike: He leans in, looks into my eyes, and lowers the lights. I go in for the kiss.

And now I'm being escorted out of the opticians.

@mostunladylike: Mugger *shows knife*
Crocodile Dundee "No this is a knife"
*pulls out huge knife*
Alanis Morrisette "Hang on"
*sifts through 10,000 spoons*