Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of mrtimlong's best tweets

@mrtimlong : When comedians die, why does everyone tell them to "make God laugh"? You wouldn't order a dead carpenter to "make God some bookshelves."

@mrtimlong: It's called a "Monte Cristo" sandwich because one day it will return disguised as another sandwich & seek its revenge

@mrtimlong: Every time I raise my arm a little, a falcon lands on it. It was super-cool at first, but now I'm starting to get annoyed.