Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of neiltyson's best tweets

@neiltyson : There’s just no way around this one: YOU MATTER, unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared, then YOU ENERGY.

@neiltyson: Geologists are important for our understanding of rocks on Earth and on other planets. So never take them for granite.

@neiltyson: To tell you the truth, beginning a sentence with “To tell you the truth” throws into question all else you’ve previous said.

@neiltyson: Always wanted to call people who don’t like astronomy “Galactos Intolerant"

@neiltyson: If I ever met a Space Alien, I’d resist shaking its extended appendage, not knowing for sure the details of alien anatomy.

@neiltyson: Never seen a bar fight break out while people are drinking wine. Beer, yes. Hard liquor, yes. But not wine.

@neiltyson: Exterminators: The only profession in which you put yourself out of business by being really good at your job.

@neiltyson: I wonder what Cannibals & Aztecs would say, watching civilized people eat symbolic hearts of loved ones on Valentine’s Day.

@neiltyson: Today is the first New Moon after Jan 21sr. Happy New Year to Chinese people and all who choose to be Chinese for a day.

@neiltyson: FYI: By the end of the Twelve Days of Christmas song, your home is crammed with 23 flying Birds and 50 hyperactive Humans.