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Page of nettie0918's best tweets

@nettie0918 : The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you would actually kill me.

@nettie0918: That moment the school calls because 15 was caught drinking at school and it's still the same principal that had to call your parents.

@nettie0918: Fastest way to occupy bored kids is to announce we are going to clean

Voila

Suddenly they all remember plans they've forgotten

Ah quiet

@nettie0918: None of my boyfriends even know they're dating me.

@nettie0918: I'm already an idiot, I just need a village

@nettie0918: I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn't care.....

Ceiling fan: 6
Me: 0

@nettie0918: My boss just informed me its unprofessional to tell customers congratulations when they call in to change last name due to divorce.