@nicfit75: Since getting the new iPhone with fingerprint unlock technology I've never worried so much about losing my thumb.
@nicfit75: *goes to Walgreens for memory pill supplements*
*forgets what they're called*
@nicfit75: Fact: Children can hear at a higher frequency than adults.
How no one has developed an effective child-repellant yet is beyond me.
@nicfit75: Neighbors having their yearly Xmas party. Not invited again. So don't tell me the screaming drunken outdoor fights don't pay off.
@nicfit75: Listen lady, you have 2 options. Either make your baby stop eyeballing me, or she & I can go outside to settle this.
@nicfit75: It's a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge.
@nicfit75: My kids are giving all the people on this plane a hard lesson in birth control right now.