Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of papasuncle's best tweets

@papasuncle : Who names their kid Russell? Like hey kid you're a noise. Look after your sister kurplop boing

@papasuncle: Bread as a loaf, bread as a bowl. Bread as a slice or bread as a roll. Bread is delicious, it is a fact. Whoopi's best movie was Sister Act.

@papasuncle: [commercial]
"Is there a dull film on your dishes?"
Me: [looking closely] Holy shit is that The English Patient?

@papasuncle: A screensaver for my face when someone has been talking too long.

@papasuncle: God: Basically u just chill.
Cow: Nice.
God: I mean, at first.
Cow: ...then?
God: Then people murder u to eat ur insides & wear u as a coat.

@papasuncle: When your bucket of KFC starts talking about the afterlife, that is some deep fried chicken.

@papasuncle: Am I the only one who just buys a new printer when the ink is gone? Also, does anyone want to make a sweet printer fort?

@papasuncle: Life is like a box of chocolates, once you have kids it's gone.

@papasuncle: If you watch 2016 backwards, it's a heartwarming story of how celebrities can come back to life just by trending on the Internet.

@papasuncle: No Olympian will ever be better at medaling than the gang on Scooby Doo.