@paperphotoyo: *accidentally skips the bottom step of the stairs*
Oh my God. This must be what a sky diver’s rush feels like.
@paperphotoyo: Managed to scare off my prison pen pal. Crazy doesn't even begin to cover what's wrong with me.
@paperphotoyo: When a man falls asleep next to me, I like to sniff his arm pit. Then he usually gets mad, I have to ride a different bus, it's a big mess.
@paperphotoyo: Being a parent means you have to make gigantic sacrifices like quality sleep and the backs to every remote control in your house.
@paperphotoyo: [1st Date]
Brain: Be cool, gurl
Him: Hi, I'm Ja-
Me: Toilet paper should be called crapkins
Netflix: So... Just you and me again, eh?
@paperphotoyo: My neighbor can't understand why he just found human shit on his front porch.
I can't understand why he would use a power saw at 5:48 am.
@paperphotoyo: Just had to Google synonyms for the word creative.
The irony is not lost on me.