Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of pixelatedboat's best tweets

@pixelatedboat : You can't trust the mainstream media, that's why I get all my news from the giant in my dreams

@pixelatedboat: Wow, what a moving acceptance speech from John Lithgow:

@pixelatedboat: *Bashar al-Assad pulls the fake handshake/hair slick move on Trump*
Dems: Yesssssss! Assad is bae now!

@pixelatedboat: Kids, if you want to succeed in journalism the way to do it is to suck at your job in a way that's useful to rich people

@pixelatedboat: This Easter, please take a moment to remember Jesus and his inspiring message for mankind:

@pixelatedboat: You (dumb, hasn't seen Fight Club): If I buy things I'll be happy
Me (smart, has seen Fight Club): I'm going to punch someone in a basement

@pixelatedboat: Clinton fan: Emails? That's all you've got?
Me: She sold the Saudis the jets that are massacring Yemenis
Clinton fan: Emails? That's all you