Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of prettysadmostly's best tweets

@prettysadmostly : my roomba is carrying a beer around the house and eating chips off the floor just like me

@prettysadmostly: *opens dating site account* prepare to be dated you pieces of shit

@prettysadmostly: I love watching a bird of prey in flight, soaring through the--nevermind its a trash bag everything sucks

@prettysadmostly: you got mad on your own you can get happy on your own
-me giving a baby advice

@prettysadmostly: i can guess how someone will die based on their clothes
date: what about me?
Hawaiian themed bathroom fire

@prettysadmostly: You know whats scarier than a bee chasing you because i dont