@prufrockluvsong: [me, stacking babies on top of each other]
Him: Wha...What are you doin there?
Me: Oh, you know, just building up the infant structure.
@prufrockluvsong: I would do anything for love. But I won't do that. Or that. That's not looking good either.
@prufrockluvsong: I refuse to eat pound cake or go to yard sales. It's metric system or gtfo.
@prufrockluvsong: [returning toothpaste]
Yeahhh, this didn't hold my husband's teeth together at all.
@prufrockluvsong: Pro tip: Spice up your next blood ritual by writing all the chants in iambic pentagrameter.
@prufrockluvsong: [showering] *comes up with cure to every disease known to man
[toweling off] Ah towels are fluffy. Duhhh, what was that other thing again?
@prufrockluvsong: The waiter who's drawn the short straw today steps up to my table with a gulp.
Him: Fresh Parmesan?
Me: MAKE IT RAAAAIN!