@rebrafsim : 6:57pm: I am conducting an experiment — I’m going to pet my dog continuously and see if he ever gets tired of it
4:09am, June 14, 2029: no
@rebrafsim: Dracula: I vant to suck your blood
Me: well technically, no -- you don't suck what you're drinking. You want to suck my NECK
@rebrafsim: Me: I'm the world's most gullible person
Me: well apparently not
@rebrafsim: Me: So I'll see you Friday?
Friend: I can't wait!
Me: FINE THEN FORGET IT
@rebrafsim: Me: [trying to keep a stiff upper lip]
Mortician: we're gonna need that back
@rebrafsim: HER: but you can't leave me - I'm carrying your baby!
HIM: actually, that's how babysitting works. I'll be home in 2 or 3 hours
@rebrafsim: Sensei: you have learned much, my child
Nonsensei: flamingos are extremely inconsiderate
@rebrafsim: You're not allowed to make up words. It's illexical
@rebrafsim: *waving arms wildly* holy shit whose arms are these?!
@rebrafsim: [Inventor of cage-free eggs] Why are these eggs in these cages