Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of relatabledad's best tweets

@relatabledad : every morning i swallow a piece of paper that says "keep up the good work fellas!!" just in case i die and doctors gotta do an autopsy on me

@relatabledad: coming to theaters soon: Dawn of the Rise of the Dawn of the Planet of the Rise of the Rise of the Dawn of the Apes

@relatabledad: "hey is that a banana in your pock--"
*his pants open*
*a banana steps out*
*it walks towards you*
*it hugs you*
"u have freed me. thank u

@relatabledad: dude *scoffs like 7 times in a row* of course i'm not a virgin... i have lots of *starts readin hand, ink is hella smudged* secular intercom

@relatabledad: no actually it's called an "african-american" eye, bud. and i got it cause someone beat the crap out of me for being too politically correct

@relatabledad: [two australians playing chess in a restaurant]
check, mate
*everyone explodes*