@runawaycupcake: Son: Can you teach me about fractions? Me: Sure. I love 2/3 of my children.
@runawaycupcake: "We're not buying another toy until Mommy gets laid!" might not be the most appropriate thing to yell in ToysRUs.
@runawaycupcake: If I had known what cleaning a toilet is like with a husband and two sons I would've become a lesbian.
@runawaycupcake: Apparently just sitting here on my new lawn furniture drinking my Vodka & minding my business is disturbing to other Target guests.
@runawaycupcake: Pretty sure Dora goes on crazy adventures with a monkey because her mom is on Twitter.
@runawaycupcake: Turns out if you speak with an English accent during an interview it's expected that you'll continue to speak w/accent after you're hired