Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of samdunsiger's best tweets

@samdunsiger : Me: *puts on hand sanitizer* 0.0002% of germs: Noooooo!

@samdunsiger: [How salad was created]

You know, it would taste better if there was more of us.

- Single piece of lettuce

@samdunsiger: Millions of years of evolution have moulded us into a species that struggles to open the wrong ends of garbage bags.