@samdunsiger : Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
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@samdunsiger: If people ever criticize you for being too short, they are literally saying that the worst thing about you is that there isn't more of you.
@samdunsiger: "Make it rain" is the only appropriate response when asked if you want parmesan cheese.
@samdunsiger: Me: *puts on hand sanitizer*
0.0002% of germs: Noooooo!
@samdunsiger: [How salad was created]
You know, it would taste better if there was more of us.
- Single piece of lettuce
@samdunsiger: Millions of years of evolution have moulded us into a species that struggles to open the wrong ends of garbage bags.