Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of sarcasticmommy4's best tweets

@sarcasticmommy4 : "I'M COLD!" yells the teen who is wearing shorts & a tshirt in 40 degree weather & ignored his mother when she said to dress warmer.

@sarcasticmommy4: We've reached that part of the day where my kids ask what's for dinner & then tell me they don't want that for dinner.

@sarcasticmommy4: I put my symptoms into WebMD & it turns out I just have kids.

@sarcasticmommy4: I'm just a mom on winter break, standing in front of my kids' school asking, "HOW BIG OF A CHECK DO I NEED TO WRITE FOR YOU TO RE-OPEN?"

@sarcasticmommy4: I'm not saying my kids come to me for everything but if I was on fire & my husband was 10 feet away, they'd still ask me for a snack.

@sarcasticmommy4: Trying to remember where I hid all of my kids' gifts will be the real Christmas miracle.

@sarcasticmommy4: How to get your kids to stop coming with you to Target:

Son: Mom, can you buy this for me?
Me: I'm not your Mom.
Son: Mom, stop.
Me: Let's go find your Mom.

@sarcasticmommy4: Took my kids out to dinner & was quickly reminded why I never take them out to dinner.

@sarcasticmommy4: For anyone who says parents can't have Friday night fun, I'm at Target right now buying toilet paper.

So, yeah, you're right.

@sarcasticmommy4: My teens cleaned their rooms & according to my sink & countertops, they've been hoarding my whole kitchen.