Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of sarcasticmommy4's best tweets

@sarcasticmommy4 : M: I'm so glad school started! 12: Can you help me with my math? M: OMG WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!

@sarcasticmommy4: My family went camping & left me home alone, like I'd be missing out.

Oh please, don't leave me home with electricity & running water.

@sarcasticmommy4: Summer vacation would probably be a little more relaxing if these kids were vacationing somewhere else.

@sarcasticmommy4: My kids said they wanted to try something new this summer so I showed them how to vacuum & do laundry.

@sarcasticmommy4: I'm not a helicopter mom.

I'm more of a "come & get me only if there's blood" kind of mom.

@sarcasticmommy4: Kids: Yay! Summer break!

Me: Not so fast. Let me introduce you to...THE GREAT SUMMER CHORE CHART OF 2017!

*3 kids faint, 1 runs away*

@sarcasticmommy4: My son asked for help with his math homework as we pulled into the school parking lot.

Then I laughed & laughed & told him to get out.

@sarcasticmommy4: Me: It's been a while since we've had to take one of the kids to the ER.

Trampoline: Hold my beer.

@sarcasticmommy4: If you think you're having a bad morning, my son is crying because his sock doesn't feel right.

@sarcasticmommy4: If you're not sure about having kids, have someone say "Mom!" 100 times before 7am & see if it's right for you.