Funny Tweeter

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Page of saucy_peaches's best tweets

@saucy_peaches : Why are you so pissed? You asked me what turns me on and all I said was you not talking...

@saucy_peaches: Marriage tips

1. Separate bank accounts
2. Separate bedrooms
3. Separate homes
4. Separate dates w/other ppl
5.
6. Don't get married

@saucy_peaches: HR writing an email saying I'm a naughty girl is not an acceptable excuse to not take awareness training...

Apparently

@saucy_peaches: Had a talk with 12.

M: Do you know what a period is?
12: Yes, mom, it's the dot at the end of the sentence.
M: ...
12: ...
M: Good talk

@saucy_peaches: My mom always said that I'd never find a man dumb enough to marry me.

Well, I showed her...