Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of scant_alpaca's best tweets

@scant_alpaca : me: how would you like the steak sir sir: well done me: thank you but how would you like the steak

@scant_alpaca: me: *filling up my car with gas*

guy next to me: the gas is supposed to go in the tank

me, pulling the pump out of the window: i don’t own a tank i only have this car

@scant_alpaca: [answering my shoe like a phone] hold on i can’t hear you let me put you on sneaker

@scant_alpaca: [holds out handful of sliced cheese]

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