@simoncholland: Imagine being 5 minutes from the end of the longest movie ever & it starts over because it forgot something. That's my kid telling a story.
@simoncholland: I’m helping my daughter write valentines to her class and children’s names these days are completely out of hand.
@simoncholland: All parents want is for our kids to go to bed so we can watch a show with bad words in it and eat the hidden snacks.
@simoncholland: Guys that have a hard time meeting girls, have you tried painting some wings on the side of a building and waiting for them to come take pictures?
@simoncholland: My daughter just asked me how to spell bourbon so she's either asking Santa to hook up her old man or writing a letter to child services.
@simoncholland: Nothing sneaks up on you quite like the age where people give you a bird feeder as a gift.