Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of skittle624's best tweets

@skittle624 : Just took my 3 dogs to the vet, so the family will be feasting on ramen noodles, beans, and no name chips for the next few months. At least the dogs are taken care of.

@skittle624: It’s so unfair how the houses on HGTV get remodeled in 30-60 minutes, but my house is taking 2-3 months.

@skittle624: I just bought orange juice and wine. No, not for mimosa’s. Orange juice for my husband, because he is sick. Wine for me, because my husband is sick.

@skittle624: My son just said there was too much cheese on his quesadilla. I don't understand where I went wrong.

@skittle624: When my husband asked me do something creative for dinner, I drew a cute picture of a dog on a napkin and put it next to the pizza box.

@skittle624: State Farm
Like a good neighbor, stay on your side of the yard, pretend I'm not there, and let's have as little interaction as possible.