@stevemarriott: [Preparing for a heist]
Boss: Whoa! You brought in new guys? They aint gonna squeal are they?
Me *with a gang of doves*: Naw man, they coo
@stevemarriott: Mediocrites was not the greatest hero from Greek mythology, but nor was he the worst
@stevemarriott: [invention of Moist Towelette]
So, we've got a product that everyone will use, now let's give it a name nobody wants to say
@stevemarriott: [McDonalds board meeting]
CEO: We need some mascots that cater to children. Kids love clowns, criminals and eggplants right?
@stevemarriott: Fun fact: if you play Hotel California backwards, and slowed down 30bpm, there's a fantastic hidden quiche recipe