@steveolivas: I went through and unfollowed everyone who is better looking than me.
It took a lot longer than I thought it would.
@steveolivas: If this doughnut and chocolate milk are going to take years off my life, could I have them remove 1978-1982?
@steveolivas: Asked my wife if I was going to get a "tip" for driving her around today.
She laughed and laughed.
Apparently so hard, she got a headache.
@steveolivas: I'm gaining weight because it's hard to carry around this much "awesome" in a standard-sized body.
@steveolivas: I like twitter because having one-sided conversations with virtually no feedback reminds me a lot of being a parent.
@steveolivas: Me: Would you remarry if I died?
Me: What?!? Would you at least WAIT awhile?
Wife: Depends. Are you dead because I killed you?