Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of tastefactory's best tweets

@tastefactory : ME: Actually, her name is not Khaleesi. That's her Dothraki title. Her name is Daenerys Targaryen. GUY ON SUBWAY: I didn't say anything

@tastefactory: *watching horror movie where young couple moves into new house & scary things happen* This is unrealistic they could never afford this house

@tastefactory: [turns to date during movie where bank robbers laugh & toss money around motel room] They won't be laughing when it's time to pick it all up

@tastefactory: 12 YEAR OLD: I wrote a movie script called Suicide Squad but it's bad *throws in trash*
HOLLYWOOD PRODUCER: *walks by trash* Hey what's this

@tastefactory: Wizard: Give me a burger
Waiter: what's the magic word?
Wizard: Abracadabra
Waiter: *now a hamster* I meant please, but ok

@tastefactory: YANKEE DOODLE: *sticks feather in his cap* This is called macaroni
YANKEE DOODLE'S FRIEND: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about u

@tastefactory: Boss: You're fired
Me: No YOU'RE fired
Boss: No
Me: Yeah
Boss: *starts sweating*

@tastefactory: Worst Betrayals in History:
- Judas turning on Jesus
- Brutus helping to murder Caesar
- Verizon guy going to work for Sprint

@tastefactory: We really are the most blessed generation. We've had 7 iPhones and 7 Fast and Furious movies.