Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of tastefactory's best tweets

@tastefactory : Great Halloween costume idea for couples: Go in a tandem Titanic costume, then get into a big fight halfway thru the night and break up

@tastefactory: Have a nice weekend
YOU have a nice weekend
No YOU have a nice weekend
*gets in coworker's face*

@tastefactory: [recording studio]
80s BAND: *gradually plays instruments quieter and quieter at the end of the song*
PRODUCER: Guys u don't need to do that

@tastefactory: I just got ripped to shreds by an extremely old man. I got on the elevator from the basement of my building and he got on too. I said “going up?” And he said “certainly. Can’t go down from here” old man I was trying to be polite why you gotta clown me like that

@tastefactory: I’m starting to think we won’t be getting Mambo number 6. If it was coming, it would have happened by now

@tastefactory: The ants won't go in the poison traps so I made some modifications to lure them in

@tastefactory: COWARDLY LION: Give me courage
SCARECROW: Give me a brain
ROB THOMAS: Gimme a heart, make it real or else forget about it
TIN MAN: Oh ok Rob

@tastefactory: The best part about Halloween is seeing people in costume doing normal shit. Just saw a Dracula standing by a car eating potato chips.

@tastefactory: *I finish setting up a display of skeletons in my front yard*
Neighbor: Great Halloween display!
Me: What is halloween?