@texasstalkermom: Naked and afraid, but it’s just me taking off all of my clothing before I weigh myself.
@texasstalkermom: Him: Can I have your number?
Me: *looks up from texting
I don’t have a phone.
@texasstalkermom: Ways to get me naked:
1. Be hot
2. Be funny
3. Be alcohol
4. Pretend to be my gynecologist
@texasstalkermom: I only have Facebook to keep track of where everyone I know is going to be, so I don't show up there.
@texasstalkermom: If you want to intimidate anyone with your screaming and honking, you may need to rethink those reindeer antlers on your car.