Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of the_anastasia's best tweets

@the_anastasia : Skittles: Taste the rainbow. Acid: See the rainbow. Absinthe: Hear the rainbow. Alcohol: Love the rainbow. Ambien: Sleep with the rainbow. Weed: Laugh with the rainbow. Valium: Relax with the rainbow. MDMA: Tell your secrets to the rainbow. Shrooms: Be the rainbow.

@the_anastasia: If you're afraid of getting fat, drink a little before eating. The alcohol should reduce the fear.

@the_anastasia: "Are you working right now? Where are you working?"

Facebook is worse than my parents.

@the_anastasia: Me: So, you come here often?
Him: .....we're in my house.

@the_anastasia: It's funny how all those "best places in the world" lists always forget to include the Internet.

@the_anastasia: When one door closes another one opens. I should really get this cabinet fixed.

@the_anastasia: My friend is so stupid she thought Alabama is a city. Don't worry, I informed her Alabama is the president.