Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of thedadvocate01's best tweets

@thedadvocate01 : Raccoon: So lemme get this straight: I’m adorable? God: Yes Raccoon: Comical? God: *chuckles* Yes Raccoon: Would make a great pet? God: Oh my yes Raccoon: Wow, I must be man’s best friend! God: *shakes head* They call you a trash panda

@thedadvocate01: Interviewer: Says here you train monkeys to read and talk

Me: Yes and you’re doing great *gives him a raisin*

@thedadvocate01: You know a corn maze is going to be intense when it has a missing-child poster at the entrance.

@thedadvocate01: Me: I lost twelve followers today.

Wife: On Twitter?

Me: In the woods.

Wife: You’re the Cub Scout leader! It’s your responsibility to find those children!