Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of theguywitheyes's best tweets

@theguywitheyes : MY BODY: You should exercise ME: That sounds good MY BODY: Because it’s heathy ME: Yeah! MY BODY: And makes you feel good ME: Definitely! MY BODY: Let’s go exercise! ME: I’m lost

@theguywitheyes: DOCTOR STRANGE: We are on the event horizon of the future being sucked into the past. The reversal of all we know will be the end of all

DOCTOR NORMAL: I’m not sure strep throat is THAT bad

@theguywitheyes: EDWARD SCISSOR HANDS: I’m gonna kill you

EDWARD ROCK HANDS: not so fast

EDWARD PAPER HANDS: Looks like we’ve got a real Mexican stand-off

@theguywitheyes: GOOD COP: Here I brought you some tooth paste

BAD COP: Now drink this orange juice