Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of themessednest's best tweets

@themessednest : As a little girl I dreamt of being Belle so I could have that beautiful yellow gown- As a grown woman I want to be Belle so I can be locked away in an enchanted castle where the dishes clean themselves.

@themessednest: Have your children help with daily chores if you want them to gain confidence and self efficacy also if want to accomplish nothing and go clinically insane.

@themessednest: Me “What are you doing to your tooth?!”

5 “Trying to pull it out.”

Me “That’s going to hurt.”

5 “I don’t care. I need the money.”

@themessednest: I’m not saying I drink too much caffeine but I do believe my body will keep moving 48 hours after my death.