@therepoguy: My dog really needs to learn how to drive a stick
because what good is fetching one bottle of vodka.
@therepoguy: If your wife says "take out the trash" do not reply with "you cooked it you take it out."
@therepoguy: "Honey, can you bring me a
roll of toilet paper?"
Toilet paper- "I have a boyfriend"
@therepoguy: People who are complaining of shoveling driveways, haven't you heard of moving?
@therepoguy: Moves shopping cart to allow car to park
Lady doesn't even say thanks
Puts cart back behind her car
@therepoguy: I'm sorry this birthday cake suffered a severe accident where my hand fell into it and a chunk of it filled my mouth.
@therepoguy: Pretty sure my refrigerator is having sex with itself from all the noises its making.