@thestlouisan: A young cephalopod breaks from the school.
Swimming mightily, he strives to avoid becoming calamari.
He has [looks at camera] squid goals.
@thestlouisan: [Delivery room]
Her: I was thinking we could call him Rob
Me: If we're naming him after felonies, why not just call him Arson, Linda?!
@thestlouisan: [Health fair]
"Would you like a free diabetes cookbook?"
Me [leaning in close]: Why would I ever want to cook diabetes?
@thestlouisan: I'm 39 and I still don't know where to look when the dentist is working on my teeth.
@thestlouisan: All I'm saying is, would it have killed Star Wars to give the audience a peek at the Death Star cafeteria?