Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of thesulk's best tweets

@thesulk : Of course this is the year I bring my famous Romaine pie to my in-laws.

@thesulk: "Something in the way she moos / attracts me like no udder lover"

@thesulk: My stomach just made the sound of a 68-year-old Long Island woman seeing her granddaughter for the first time.

@thesulk: Next time you're on an elevator with a stranger say, "If the doors open and it's all zombies, let's team up."

@thesulk: "Wanna pop a xanax in the Civic and kayak with mom and dad at noon?" "Can't. Scared." "Of the water?" "No. Palindromes."

@thesulk: Just picked up an unknown call with a "Hello?" An old woman said "Joan?" So, I can cross "mistaken for a Joan" off the bucket list.

@thesulk: I have no beef with vegetarians.

@thesulk: How do male civil unions not end with the phrase "I dude"?

@thesulk: "All black people are Aiwa, and all jews are Technics." "Those are just stereo types."

@thesulk: Hulu coming to PS3. Finally I can watch TV on my TV.