@tsm560: I feel like I'm always on the outside looking in... and great the cops are here again.
@tsm560: [in bed]
Her: Easy, cowboy. I'm not having unprotected sex.
Me: No worries!
Her: Where are you going?
Me: To lock the front door.
@tsm560: Wishing for bad shit to happen to people you hate is so wrong. You gotta be way more proactive than that.
@tsm560: People who say they'll be late for their own funeral*
*trust me. you'll make it.
@tsm560: Reverse psychology is like regular psychology except the woman is facing the other way.