@tsm560: One day I’ll take a trip around the world to see if people are this stupid everywhere.
@tsm560: I was all set to seize the day but this anti-seizure medication is a lot stronger than I thought.
@tsm560: I don’t know if this day is tantamount to the worst day of my life because I don’t know what tantamount means.
@tsm560: All of my friends are in love and I’m still on my own but I’m not gonna feel bad for them.
@tsm560: My dance floor moves are exactly like what happens when a child wanders into the middle of a parade.
@tsm560: Her: [slow winks] The only place I take orders is right here... in the bedroom.
Me: I’d really love a BLT.