Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of usedwigs's best tweets

@usedwigs : The hardest part of the day after running a marathon is finding ways to work it into every single conversation you have.

@usedwigs: Want to send a 4-year-old boy into a blind rage? Repeatedly tell him he’s wrong and you are positive their names are “Batman and Robert”.

@usedwigs: Your Google Self-Driving car should be taken away if you don't let your dog sit in the driver's seat while you hold a map riding shotgun.

@usedwigs: Keep slugs out of your garden by building a tiny slug-sized amusement park next to it with slow safe rides.