Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of voldemortsbicep's best tweets

@voldemortsbicep : *in bed* Him: what's your fantasy, baby? Me: Scrooge McDuck but skittles instead of gold Him: No, like sexual Me: Scrooge McDuck but skittl-

@voldemortsbicep: Some ppl are like, bury me and plant a tree so I live on in nature and I'm like, same but plant potatoes so I can live on in french fries

@voldemortsbicep: Him: I like meatier girls.
Me: I killed the dinosaurs.
Him: What?
Me: What?

@voldemortsbicep: How To Make Lemon Squares:

Make the undercookie
Then the jigglesauce
Pour the jigglesauce on the undercookie and put it in the bakeybox