@wendchymes: If hackers really wanted to scare us they would post all of our deleted selfies instead of stealing our financial info
@wendchymes: My friend had her baby at home and I can’t even give myself a manicure at home
@wendchymes: My standards in my 20's- brooding & poetic
30's tall, nice smile, secure job
40's - hmm I bet that shouty homeless guy would clean up nice
@wendchymes: Friend: I haven't had sex in years!
Me: meh, join the club
Friend: I haven't had coffee in 5 days!
Me: DEAR GOD!!!
@wendchymes: I saw a woman using a pay phone today and that probably means she's from the future & trying to blend in but she got the year wrong, right?
@wendchymes: * kids arguing loudly about which one of them is my favorite *
- dog & I exchange knowing glances and wink as I slip him another treat