@whalesmells: When someone you don't like is eating them, chips sound like 1000 asteroids smashing into the polar ice caps.
@whalesmells: You're the apple of my eye.
The grape of my elbow.
The lemon of my foot.
The banana of my hair.
My sweet hair banana.
@whalesmells: Gf: What's the dog eating?
Me: Piece of hotdog.
Dog: [chewing slows] WHAT.