Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of wolfpupy's best tweets

@wolfpupy : been feeling trapped ever since i investigated that box propped up by a stick.

@wolfpupy: if they didn't want me to take the coins off a dead man's eyes they would have moved the gumball machine further away.

@wolfpupy: we are always told "don't eat the cookies that are cooling on the tray" and then "don't eat the cookies that are in the jar" the loophole in this system is to eat the cookies while they are still baking in the oven.

@wolfpupy: jewelry making tip: a simple can of gold spraypaint can turn a chicken nugget into a gold nugget

@wolfpupy: you'd think someone who calls themselves a rat-catcher by trade would be more prepared for having a rat thrown at them, just goes to show people aren't always who they say they are.

@wolfpupy: making internet enemies is a lot easier than making internet friends but i guess it does keep the curse protection talisman industry alive.

@wolfpupy: occult darling Dracula needs to get a grip. having his own dirt shipped in to sleep on, what a piece of shit. me, i'll sleep on any dirt

@wolfpupy: next time you hear The Boys Are Back In Town think of me, the unsung hero, who chases the boys out of town with a broom

@wolfpupy: [the ghost of christmas future points at my grave] finally im dead [i lay down in the grave] stop kicking me ghost im not learning anything

@wolfpupy: i will be the first to admit when something is my fault, it really undercuts the other people blaming me for things