Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of xosm's best tweets

@xosm : Body: so tired Brain: can’t sleep Body: okay then, let’s pee every 15 minutes

@xosm: Technology: the world is at your fingertips, you can accomplish anything!

Twitter: nope

@xosm: Kid: would you rather be the Evil Queen or the Wicked Witch?
M: I'd rather be the Mom
K: ooh, right. Much scarier.

@xosm: I changed my phone ringtone to the doorbell sound bc I don't answer that either.