Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of yoyoha's best tweets

@yoyoha : White Walkers need coffee too #WinterIsHere

@yoyoha: Firecrackers let you know how close drunk people are to your house.

@yoyoha: "Eat her already!" - Animal watching people kissing

@yoyoha: Are there any police officers willing to come to my house in uniform and tell my kids that not listening to me is against the law

@yoyoha: Johnny Depp is proof that if you dress like you're a member of a rock band long enough one will just form around you eventually

@yoyoha: Leaving a watermelon on someone's doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.

@yoyoha: 8yo Me: *sneaks candy*
14yo Me: *sneaks cigarettes*
18yo Me: *sneaks alcohol*
43yo Me: *sneaks candy*

Being an adult is stupid.

@yoyoha: I bet Hannibal Lecter was pretty disappointed when he found out a five finger discount had nothing to do with purchasing fingers.

@yoyoha: Love is patient. Love is kind. Love has never been in a relationship apparently.

@yoyoha: STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter
STEP 2: Receive email newsletter
STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life