Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated Twitter humor

@zachheltzel : Everything doesn't "happen for a reason." The universe is not aware of your existence. Stop being arrogant.

@zachheltzel: Twilight is like soccer. They run around for 2 hours, nobody scores, and its millions of fans insist you just don't understand.

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@zachheltzel: I DIDN'T SAFELY EJECT MY FLASH DRIVE AND NOW MY DOG IS DEAD

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@zachheltzel: Never tell a psycho that they're psycho, because then they feel like they're obligated to prove it.

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@zachheltzel: "You'll have more fun in high school, Zach."nn"You'll have more fun in college, Zach."nn"You'll have more fun in Hell, Zach."

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