@InternetHippo: Using Craigslist can get you murdered, but that’s only one of its many advantages
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@jonnysun: BEYONCE: do u like my album JAY: [thinking to self] if anyone hears this i'll be ruined JAY: [out loud] we should make it a tidal exclusive
@MummaCrazy: *Runs a bath Me: ok, jump in 3: it's too hot *Adds cold water Me: Ok, get in 3: it's too cold Apparently I gave birth to Goldilocks.
@Vice_Queen: Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene except it's me throat punching you for trying to eat my food.