@heatherjs: Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
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@Reverend_Scott: [1st day working at bank] BOSS: What are you doing?? ME: I gave that man a personal loan. BOSS: YOU'RE THE JANITOR
@MandiAtRandom: Officer: Did u know your back light is out Me: I don't know if you noticed... I'm inside the car. You had a bit of an advantage
@edgarrants: The best part of being old for the holidays? Nobody bats an eye when you 'randomly fall asleep' in the middle of a conversation.