@heatherjs: Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
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@meganamram: Just heard about this teacher who had sex with his student. Another reason I won't send MY dog to obedience school
@XplodingUnicorn: *quits Twitter to spend time with family* *remembers what family is like* *quits family for Twitter*
@robo_junkie: I want to get arrested by a motorcycle cop just so I can hold him tenderly around the waist on my way to jail.