@heatherjs: Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.
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@Sanbel11: If he's a nice guy and treats you well, does it really matter what colour his Maserati is?
@Izianikapani: It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
@trevso_electric: My girlfriend steals all the blankets in her sleep and I wake up cold, next to an adorable linen burrito.
@SnizzleFrizzle: I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish. *I'm not even high.