@DionneMcNutt: Using Romeo & Juliet to express how inlove you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
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@KattsDogma: [New Job Diary] Day 1: They all seem very ni-SOMEONE TOOK MY LUNCH MY LUNCH IS GONE SOMEONE STOLE MY-oh wait nvm there it i-MY STAPLERS GONE
@TimDuffy: Thanksgiving is going to be hard this year because half my family dances to remember and the other half dances to forget.
@GrantTanaka: 2016: Sanders wins presidency 2017: Marijuana legalized in all 50 states 20$x: lol what were we talking about
@DannyEarl: Personally, I think Lance Armstrong should keep his trophies and awards. Last time I rode a bike on drugs I ended up in my neighbors bushes