@shutupmikeginn: Using the domino's pizza tracker app seems like a great way to carjack someone you know isn't going to put up that much of a fight
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@SondraDeeMe: [home] FRIEND: How'd family dinner go? ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here.
@tiffstevenson: Boyf said I look really pretty when I'm concentrating...I realised its cos I'm quiet! Either way it's the last time I let him watch me poo
@Iwriteforcats: Shamrocks are the most dishonest of all the rocks.
@SwanieChicken: "LOOK, MA!!!!! NO DIGNITY!!!!"
@Jtweeters: If you love someone, set them free. If they return... something, something, Justin Bieber's a lesbian.
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