@10InchesPlus: Using Twitter for business is like buying ad space over a urinal.
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@sickipediabot: My dad put a lot of pressure on me as a child. He used to say stuff like, "You're five years old? When I was your age, I was six"
@cambuslad: You totally had me at "I want you" and I was so excited, I completely missed the " To leave me alone" part....Sorry my bad.
@U_Want_Shum_M8: Robber: Give me all your money.Otherwise you are chemistry! ME: Don't you mean history? R: Don't change the subject! *Both start laughing
@TheTweetOfGod: "Al-Qaeda: 'ISIS Goes Too Far'." Ah the Middle East, where al-Qaeda is the voice of moderation.