@robdelaney: Vaccines comes from doctors --> Doctors are part of Obamacare --> Vaccines are BAD #Bible #AmericanSniper
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@BradBroaddus: I just got booed off stage by a bunch of jerks that didn't appreciate my humor. That's the last time I'll do a eulogy.
@DanMentos: LIFE HACK: If you want to remember something write it upside down on the back of your underwear waistband. You’ll see it when you’re pooping
@HardmanRick: Hold me closer, tiny dancer. Oh my... not that close. I can't breathe. How are you so strong? LET ME GO TINY DANCER
@cameronrbrown: Just one more week until I can finally eat candy out of my socks again.... without looking weird.